A Plea To Brits Ahead Of The Referendum

Fellow Brits, please choose to remain in the European Union.

I understand that we are predetermined as a country to look over the Channel with a distrusting eye. I get that our history and our island status means we feel like we can take on anything. But this isn’t an emotional decision. It’s a purely rational one.

Given my usual posting habits this might seem like the build up to a joke, but it’s not. I’m really, genuinely worried we are about to make a mistake when we hit the polls later today.

You’re probably sick to death of the whole thing by now so I won’t bother going back in to the arguments in any real detail, but I really want to stress that we need the European Union. This isn’t a referendum about whether we like it or not. It’s not about whether we think it’s perfect. It’s about in or out, and there’s only really one answer to that question.

There may be things you don’t like about the EU. There are things I don’t like as well. But you don’t throw away a marriage because your wife picks her nose.

And what you definitely don’t do is leave your wife because another woman picks her nose.

That may sound like a strange analogy, but it’s accurate. Some of the people I’ve spoken to have wanted to curb immigration (which I can kind of understand the logic behind at least), or because they don’t like the European Court of Human Rights (?!?!?!)

Neither of these things are the European Union. They are separate points that will be part of the make up of our country regardless of what we decide today. What we are deciding today is the economic future of the country. And diving in to the unknown sounds like something of a gamble to me.

One of the key arguments coming out from the “leave” campaign is this idea of bringing power back to the UK, as if we don’t have any already or something.

This makes it seem like the alternative is some sort of political utopia; an idealistic democratic process where you and I have ultimate power over our lives, changing and improving so we can all live harmoniously and joyfully.

This sounds lovely, but it’s of course absolute nonsense. Boris Johnson and Nigel Farage (notice how it’s the two most laughable politicians in the country who are fighting to leave?) of course want more power in the UK. They’re the ones who are going to get it.

What’ll really happen if we exit is we will be putting slightly more power (but not as much as the leave campaign will have you believe) in to the hands of our own government. People like Johnson. People like Farage. People like Cameron, or Osborne, or Gove. I don’t know about you, but that doesn’t exactly sound like the most appealing proposition.

I could ramble on and on for hours on this, and it’ll get steadily less interesting as it goes (hey, like the actual campaigns!) so I’m going to cut it short and ask you, dear reader, to make the right decision today. This is one we cannot go back on easily, and yet we are putting the entire fabric of our country on the line. The EU isn’t perfect, but it’s the best we’ve got.

Don’t f*ck it up. Please.


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